Principle #1: People Support What They Help To Create
This principle may seem obvious to you, but stop and think about whether or not you truly employ it for a moment.
Now, I've heard all the objections:
I had a setback this week that hit me like a punch to the gut. I'm not going to bore you with the details of it, but let me just say, I'm up writing this blog post at 3:30 am because this setback is weighing on my mind. It sucked.
Phase 1 of dealing with setbacks usually looks something like this:
1. Curl up in a ball and throw myself a pity party
2. Reach out to get perspective from my most trusted sounding board friends
3. Move through the "I hate everything about the world and everything is terrible and wrong" angst and disappointment phase
Once I've done that I can move to the other side. And here is my take-away from this particular setback. The most important belief that I have about life is that everything is always, ALWAYS working out for me. Even when it doesn't feel like it. Even when it sucks a big butt and is hard and disappointing and exhausting and seems hopeless.
How can I believe this and live this way? Because I derive my sources of inspiration and...
I recently had the opportunity to fulfill one of my life's dreams: to see Oprah live. Her 2020 Vision: Your Life in Focus tour was making a stop in my backyard. So, once again, I said "yes" to myself and bought the ticket ($90 on Craigslist in a suite, pretty "sweet" deal...pun intended). And here were my biggest take-aways.
The life principles that Oprah talked about are universally applicable. They follow the same patterns, and when you understand them and stick with them, they yield results. She opened with this:
Wellness = All Things in Balance AND we can have everything we're supposed to have, just not all at the same time. When we have the intention of balance as our starting point, then we make sure to give energy and attention to each segment of our life over time.
Those who teach personal fulfillment and development (Oprah, Deepak, Tony Robbins, Danielle Laporte, Vishen Lakhiani, Brendon Burchard, Rachel...
When you set goals, what is your process? For most people, they get super jazzed about an idea, they may or may not write it down, and then they go straight into implementation mode.
For example, they’ll think, "I want to lose weight. I’m super motivated to do it because I’ve been eating like crap and none of my clothes fit."
The problem is that after they do these things for a few days or weeks, the initial excitement and resolve wears off and the old habits slip back in. They also realize pretty quickly, that just going through these motions….doing these tasks….there is something that feels kind of empty about the whole thing.
It’s not fulfilling.
It’s not sustainable.
There is not enough motivation or inspiration to keep them going.
Here we go again...another round of New Year’s resolutions that will bring us a sense of purpose and clarity, for what 2 weeks? 1 month? 2 months max?
The statistics on how many people actually follow through and accomplish their New Year's resolutions are rather grim.
So if this is such a widespread challenge for most of us, what is the solution?
Clearly, we all want to do better, be better, stop eating so much we can’t fit in our pants, and stop spending money like it’s water.
That’s why we keep getting back up on the New Year’s resolution horse, and why we set new goals, not only at this time of year, but all year long. It’s not like we don’t have good intentions, or that we’re not trying, but year after year most of slip back into our same old habits, ruts, or routines and...
As my son turned 10 amongst the Disney magic, I leaned down and whispered to him,
Raising kids is so tricky. They are brimming with constant curiosity and questions about EVERYTHING. Owen is at the age where he wants to learn about money. He’s earning money for chores and more likely to get money for gifts these days, so he’s got more of it to burn and he wants to know what’s what. It’s prime time, right? Let’s strike while the iron is hot, and the student is ripe for learning.
Except, what the heck are we going to teach him?
As his mom, I’m in the midst of a “Money Mindset Challenge” myself to un-learn and re-learn everything I’ve ever ...
I don’t know about you, but when I see my husband engaged and playful with my kids, it reminds me why I was attracted to this guy in the first place. There is nothing quite like seeing your kids lit up from humor and giggling and wrestling and play that (at least in my family) has it’s own sense of magic when it comes from dad.
When Tyler is lit up and “on,” he is able to elicit the deep belly laughs that bring my kids to their knees and get the happy chemicals flowing. Even task-oriented Mom can’t help but succumb to the sweet surrender that laughter and humor brings. The spark it creates between all of them makes my heart sing, and then I feel sparked up toward my hubby. It’s all-around just a good dynamic.
So fellas, don’t underestimate the attractive appeal of amazing dad-ness. It’s hot! And ladies (or fellas), don’t forget to tell your partner how sexy you think they are when they are in their “dad zone.”
I believe so. Or at least, I hope so. And no, I’m not just talking about my face. It’s just that a face like mine represents what’s possible when each one of us as individuals chooses to live our lives differently.
And I believe that it will be women like myself…sensitive, dreamers, big-hearted, smart, passionate women, willing to take risks, to speak up, to rise up, take the reins, and support each other--who will chart a new course for the trajectory of humanity through constructive communication, creativity, and collaboration.
This is a photo of me leading a weekly women’s leadership call from my driveway, in my robe from 7-8am. I am sitting in my driveway because my husband is out walking our dog and I want the kids to know that if they need me, I’m close by, and yet I need it to be quiet and without distraction so that I can focus on what the women are saying and offer constructive input.
It’s a frickin’ juggling act for...
Why am I having my kids hold this snake skin on their first day of school? A Double-Dog Dare You situation? An annual Fear Factor ritual we weirdly insist on our kids engaging in? No. It’s because it represents the process of shedding and new growth.
You see, as I’ve been pondering this next growth experience in our family’s life—leaving the phase of early childhood and entering into school-ager-ness for both of them—I recognize that it’s okay to let go. It really is part of the growth process, and what makes way for new life.
Mother Nature, in her infinite source of wisdom, models this for us in a variety of ways---molting of fur and feathers, trees letting go of their leaves, hermit crabs ditching their shells, snakes shedding their skin---and yes this is from our PET snake (that is a blog post for a different day).
Yet as humans--we tend to forget about the natural flow of life, resist change even though it is inevitable, and tell weird stories...
The TEDx Minneapolis event this past Friday evening left me with a feeling of appreciation for all the ways we as humans show up to share our gifts and talents. I wasn’t sure what to expect from the event—mostly I thought there would be speakers, food, and opportunities to network with people who like ideas worth spreading. It was much more than that. Dancers, musicians, comedians, virtual reality, and a singer song-writer with the voice of an angel who had us engaged in a round of song inspired by the shooting of Philando Castile.
It reminded me that there are so many ways to express creativity. That as spiritual beings having a human experience, we all have a longing to be seen and heard. Of course not all of us are willing to admit this or so bold to risk the vulnerability of sharing our divine selves publicly. For that reason I am more and more inspired by the ballsy people who show up to do so.
Because at the end of the day isn’t that REALLY what the journey...