In working with all kinds of men from different walks of life and varying personalities, I have found one common theme that exists throughout:
At their core, men desire to please women.
Now, I know it can be easy to forget this on a day-to-day basis. Perhaps if you’re like me, you’ve communicated to your partner that your “love language” is acts of service and what really turns you on is having a clean house--and yet his parts of the house continue to look like a 20-year old-college-boy pig sty.
Think about it. Men have literally been fighting to the death since the dawn of time because they believe that in doing so they are somehow pleasing or providing for women and/or their kin. (Sidenote: I personally...
Guys, contrary to what you may have been taught and conditioned by porn, advertisements, and the barrage of other cultural and mass media messages you’ve ingested your whole lives, rather than gawking over how “hot” or put together women are on the surface, what will really open a woman up to you is when she can trust you.
When you’ve shown her consistently that you’ve got her back.
When you step up to see her—really see her-- and get to know her deepest desires, dreams, and fantasies without criticism or judgement.
Flexing your muscles, showing off your intellect or accomplishments, or bringing your machismo game may get you so far, but when you “enter” a woman at the soul level--when you see her depth, her intelligence, her creativity, her nurturing, her passion--and you make it feel safe for her to be vulnerable in all of those things.
Boom. Done. She will be like putty in your hands and much more willing to try new things in...
As my son turned 10 amongst the Disney magic, I leaned down and whispered to him,
Raising kids is so tricky. They are brimming with constant curiosity and questions about EVERYTHING. Owen is at the age where he wants to learn about money. He’s earning money for chores and more likely to get money for gifts these days, so he’s got more of it to burn and he wants to know what’s what. It’s prime time, right? Let’s strike while the iron is hot, and the student is ripe for learning.
Except, what the heck are we going to teach him?
As his mom, I’m in the midst of a “Money Mindset Challenge” myself to un-learn and re-learn everything I’ve ever ...
I don’t know about you, but when I see my husband engaged and playful with my kids, it reminds me why I was attracted to this guy in the first place. There is nothing quite like seeing your kids lit up from humor and giggling and wrestling and play that (at least in my family) has it’s own sense of magic when it comes from dad.
When Tyler is lit up and “on,” he is able to elicit the deep belly laughs that bring my kids to their knees and get the happy chemicals flowing. Even task-oriented Mom can’t help but succumb to the sweet surrender that laughter and humor brings. The spark it creates between all of them makes my heart sing, and then I feel sparked up toward my hubby. It’s all-around just a good dynamic.
So fellas, don’t underestimate the attractive appeal of amazing dad-ness. It’s hot! And ladies (or fellas), don’t forget to tell your partner how sexy you think they are when they are in their “dad zone.”
I believe so. Or at least, I hope so. And no, I’m not just talking about my face. It’s just that a face like mine represents what’s possible when each one of us as individuals chooses to live our lives differently.
And I believe that it will be women like myself…sensitive, dreamers, big-hearted, smart, passionate women, willing to take risks, to speak up, to rise up, take the reins, and support each other--who will chart a new course for the trajectory of humanity through constructive communication, creativity, and collaboration.
This is a photo of me leading a weekly women’s leadership call from my driveway, in my robe from 7-8am. I am sitting in my driveway because my husband is out walking our dog and I want the kids to know that if they need me, I’m close by, and yet I need it to be quiet and without distraction so that I can focus on what the women are saying and offer constructive input.
It’s a frickin’ juggling act for...
Why am I having my kids hold this snake skin on their first day of school? A Double-Dog Dare You situation? An annual Fear Factor ritual we weirdly insist on our kids engaging in? No. It’s because it represents the process of shedding and new growth.
You see, as I’ve been pondering this next growth experience in our family’s life—leaving the phase of early childhood and entering into school-ager-ness for both of them—I recognize that it’s okay to let go. It really is part of the growth process, and what makes way for new life.
Mother Nature, in her infinite source of wisdom, models this for us in a variety of ways---molting of fur and feathers, trees letting go of their leaves, hermit crabs ditching their shells, snakes shedding their skin---and yes this is from our PET snake (that is a blog post for a different day).
Yet as humans--we tend to forget about the natural flow of life, resist change even though it is inevitable, and tell weird stories...
The TEDx Minneapolis event this past Friday evening left me with a feeling of appreciation for all the ways we as humans show up to share our gifts and talents. I wasn’t sure what to expect from the event—mostly I thought there would be speakers, food, and opportunities to network with people who like ideas worth spreading. It was much more than that. Dancers, musicians, comedians, virtual reality, and a singer song-writer with the voice of an angel who had us engaged in a round of song inspired by the shooting of Philando Castile.
It reminded me that there are so many ways to express creativity. That as spiritual beings having a human experience, we all have a longing to be seen and heard. Of course not all of us are willing to admit this or so bold to risk the vulnerability of sharing our divine selves publicly. For that reason I am more and more inspired by the ballsy people who show up to do so.
Because at the end of the day isn’t that REALLY what the journey...
A couple of years ago I did the eulogy for my 101 year old Grandpa's funeral service. Afterward, a woman approached me, introduced herself, and told me that she was one of the nurses who stood with my dad while he watched me being born. I had the umbilical cord wrapped multiple times around my neck and my mother agreed that students could watch my complicated birth as a learning exercise. She remembers that as she lay on the table, she could see a group of students watching, taking notes on their clipboards in the viewing rafters above. She described it all as a bit surreal. After giving birth myself twice, I can only imagine.
What this woman told me (I never even caught her name) was that once I was delivered into this world alive and well, she will never forget the look on my father's face. He was in awe. And she remembers that she said to him, "it almost makes you believe there's a god, doesn't it?"
Now this was interesting. Growing up my father was a self-proclaimed atheist. My...
The hubby, kids, and I are at the cabin this weekend, and I said to my husband Tyler, “now I understand why my grandparents used to sit in their rocking chairs in their living room in silence and look out their big picture window.” After decades of raising 4 children and 13 grandchildren, I can only imagine that silence became a pretty sacred experience.
As Tyler and I have watched our nervous systems get triggered by the trials and tribulations of parenting and life’s other constant demands, we have a much deeper appreciation for Depeche Mode’s message from the early 90’s to “Enjoy the Silence.”
And for me, this is a distinct shift. I used to find it difficult--uncomfortable even--to be in a room by myself for any great length of time. I would get in my head with self-deprecating thoughts or the woes of the world and then want to reach out and connect with people in an effort to distract myself--or at least enact the “misery...
As someone who’s job it is to be slightly obsessed with personal and professional growth, I find myself pondering the concept of “growth” quite often. And what I find is that—no surprise--nature is one of our best teachers about what lasting, transformational growth looks like.
Take the rings of a tree, for example. This is a great representation of what growth looks like. Why?